Reality TV’s Real Purpose

It has been a political hot potato for as long as people have been having children.  How the hell do you deal with the rotten oiks when they don’t listen nor do a bloody thing anyone else says.  Whether you try to be a fun-loving parent or a hip, cool and stylish teacher chances are those in the 13-19 year-old bracket will think you’re as uncool as… well maybe that’s the point I’m trying to make, I can’t even suggest anything that is cool, because these rascals will throw it back in my face!  Even if you try to be cool in front of them, they’ll just stab you, take your wallet and spend your money on getting dreadlocks!

Anyway, the point I think I’m trying to make is that there is a solution to these riotous ruffians, and it is something that I think will entertain both sides of this regatta of controversy.  I think my proposition should be taken up by government and sold to the rest of the world, with me as the Simon Cowell of the mix… But from the outset though this should only involve those ungovernable, lawless, vicious, those ‘gosh-darn-it’, crooked types.  Those kind who have received a sentence from Her Majesty’s most finest, should be clapped in irons and be forced to compete.  Those who abide by the law of the land have nothing to fear… yet!

‘Big Brother’s National Conscription’, yes, that’s another reality TV show and instead of getting them to sit around in an over-sized bedroom complaining about how someone else has called them a ‘bitch’, they compete against one other in the same predicament by completing several tasks not too dissimilar from what the real army folk do. Shit…! as I write this though I have suddenly remembered that there was  something like this called ‘Bad Lads Dad’s Army,’ so I am obligated to update my idea… So, you know the Japanese movie Battle Royale? where a class of students are forced into killing each other off, well lets bring that to the TV executive table.  Come on, there are much worse things on TV these days than a reality TV show about juvenile delinquents whose head could be blown off at any second… who’s seen True Blood?

So how would it work? If they committed a crime they serve out their sentence on the TV show, which of course will be shown live on E4, 24 hours a day.  Rather than costing the taxpayer money to keep them inside a prison for their duration, money will come in for advertisers, (prisoners could be made to sell different products too as part of their punishment. A kleptomaniac would be made to sell padlocks; a murderer – life insurance etc ).  They will train like soldiers, be treated like soldiers, and at a time when military spending is being reduced, it won’t cut into the defence budget because the revenue will come from advertisers.  It will teach those involved practical and linguistic skills as well as team skills, structure etc, and if they still misbehave their head gets blown off.  This could be an end of season finale where two souls get to battle it out to have their record cleared.

There could be one or two downsides, like seeing your son’s head pop off at any moment, but at least he would have gone out doing what all teenagers want to do, being on television displaying no discernible talent whatsoever.  Morals reasons… meh, society has done far worse things, like allow  taxpayer money (not mine, I live abroad!) to go to the Queen’s 60th jubilee celebrations.

Will this work, you bet your arse it wouldn’t because Britain is a (fairly) liberal society that (apparently) deplores sadistic violence, though the number of viewers of Sky News seem to rise year-on-year (honestly), but it could make a good movie, any takers?


Rupert you’re a wonderful £7.8bn bear.

It’s now official, Rupert Murdoch‘s News Corp has been given the go-ahead to take over BSkyB.  Once the ‘deal’ is completed it will give Murdoch and his family unprecedented control over the news in the UK, having already in their mittens the ‘old grandma’ newspapers – The Times and Sunday Times, the politically manipulative – Sun and the, “who’s calling at this hour?” – News of the World, which in total make up 37% of consumed news in the UK.  The proposed £7.8bn take over of BSkyB, which is due to completed in at least fifteen days depending on whether or not a review is put forward, will send politicians running for the nearest exit of the Commons.

Will this deal be beneficial for the UK or will it be another merger that was allowed to go ahead because one too many politicians have ended up on the end of Senor Rupert’s nipple.  Culture Secretary – Jeremy Hunt, the unfortunate MP, who in four hours on Radio 4 was referred to twice by his alter ego – Hulture Secretary – Jeremy… has, along with the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) seen no reason to refer the deal to the Competition Commission, despite it stating on the CC’s website that; “The OFT can review mergers to investigate whether there is a realistic prospect that they will lead to a substantial lessening of competition“.  Competition will be severely reduced with News Corp being able to offer its customers free online subscriptions to its newspapers and forcing more ‘left-wing’ newspapers into submission, even though The Times is currently running at a £240,000 loss per day.  No free-market news organisation will be able to match its might.  News Corps will continue to push for a more ‘right-wing’ mandate, the same that can be seen in the US on Fox television with Mr Beck and O’Reilly and also with the Wall Street Journal, which has significantly leaned, almost to tipping point.  Some will argue that having a more conservative network would be a good thing, it could then be seen as a direct opponent of the BBC, which has always been seen to be a far more liberal network.  Murdoch has often complained that the BBC is uncompetitive by offering free news subscriptions and I-player downloads for free, forcing private companies out of the market, but at least it can be said that BBC attempts to be neutral.  James Murdoch, Rupert’s son said of the BBC in 2009 that, “The expansion of state-sponsored journalism is a threat to the plurality and independence of news provision.”  But there is no difference here or with what was said back then, only that the names had changed.

With more acquisitions comes more power and with more power you inevitably find that there are more people wanting to pal up to you.  Murdoch has always backed the winner when it comes to General Elections in the UK.  He openly backed Tony Blair in 1997 and he won by a landslide, but in 2010 he turned his back on New Labour and put his political clout behind David Cameron.  To have him in your pocket is having the Golden ticket, to not is to the grandfather left behind in bed.

“Britain’s most powerful media tycoon has managed to strike with a government apparently so desperate for the great man’s blessing that it’s willing to bend the rules to smooth his path.” Jeremy Warner – Daily Telegraph 03/03/11

Like a dictator who grabs hold of power during a revolution, the first thing to do is to get control of the media: the newspapers, the television and control all the news, then you can walk your walk 24-hours a day.  Whether or not Murdoch is like that of a dictator is neither here or there, but what is interesting were the comments of Lance Price, Tony Blair’s Deputy Director of Communications who spoke of Murdoch’s ‘man in the shadows’ persona, “He was like the 24th Member of the Cabinet.  His presence is always felt.  No big decision could ever be made inside Number 10 without taking account of the likely reaction of three men – Gordon Brown, John Prescott, and Rupert Murdoch”.

Would the OFT allow a merger to take place of other large companies? the obvious one being touted around is if Tesco and Sainsburys were to join forces.  Are the British public to think that a man like Rupert won’t potentially use all his tried and tested means at his disposal to influence, fairly or unfairly some particular piece of legislation in order to help his network?  If you think that perhaps he wouldn’t you are as stupid as the people who watch Sky.